I feel like this right now....

except I'm not standing on the ball, but laying prostrate on the floor with the spilled milk in my hair, desperately trying to save the fish, and if it's my house, the dog is peeing in the corner.  And my family is just milling around as if nothing is amiss.  Why?  Because I've been this way for so long that it's my normal.

Except it's really getting to me now, and I'm becoming increasingly discontent in my imbalance.  I can't get it together and it's really driving me just a little bit mad.  At school, my place where I am always organized and together, I'm drowning.  My desk is a pile of unfiled paperwork, unwritten curriculum maps and lesson plans,  ungraded reading units.  At home, where I am never organized, it is beyond the point I consider "no return."  Laundry baskets full of clothes--washed and unwashed.  Baskets full of random toys.  Unfinished homework, unmatched socks, entire rooms devoted to piles of things that we haven't put away and needed somewhere to stash.  Weight loss?  Stalled.  Taking time to exercise means having a free afternoon without a dr. appointment, parent meeting, practice.  Eating right means making the time and finding the money to buy the right things and denying myself the quick fix for the hunger of my stomach and my soul.

I don't really know the solution.  I think women who have it all together must never sleep, never relax, never get lost in a book, never sit down to snuggle with their little ones or listen to a Barbie show, never blog or facebook.  And when do they find time for their husbands?

I'm trying this weekend, as I do every weekend, to regain some of that balance.  We've a rare weekend where we have nowhere to go and nothing to do except stay at home, go to church and to Nanny's for lunch.  I have great plans to get the laundry done and put away, Hannah's homework that we forgot to do this week done, school work completed (I brought home two big bags of it.ugh) Spent a nice evening with the family last night eating what I wanted, vegging on the couch with my babies and big kids watching a good movie (Courageous), ignoring everything but the most important things--my family and my faith.  Today it's time to try to get up off the floor, wipee (for those not mothers, it's when you clean yourself or your child up using a wipee because you are too busy/lazy/or not at home) the milk out of my hair, and climb back on my ball.

Happy Weekend, and Happy Balancing to you all!

Happy Birthday, Maddy!

My beautiful third born, my second daughter, Madeline celebrated her 15th birthday on January 15th.  We were fortunate to be off from school on her birthday, as it was MLK Jr.'s birthday.  We went to church that morning as a family, and then upon Maddy's request, we headed to the lake to visit Grandma and Grandpa.

Waking up 15 years old!

 As soon as we got to the lake, we opened presents.  One of her favorite presents was inspired by her latest obsession, Hunger Games.

 Her main gift, a new laptop.  She had saved some of the money, and for her birthday, we kicked in the rest.

 Hannah and Daryl watching Maddy open all of her presents

 the big kids

 and Charlotte, who chose to play instead!

 Practicing inside....(she didn't let the arrow go inside!)

 and outside

 Then we went ice skating.  Ice skating in Georgia?  Yep.  The Ritz Carlton made an ice skating rink for a few months, so we went and checked it out.

 Hard to believe that I used to be an ice skater.  OK, I was 5, but I still used to be able to make it around an ice skating rink without having to be led around the rink like an old lady!

 You can't tell from this picture, but I did eventually get the hang of it!

 After a dinner of Grandpa's famous hamburgers, we had cake and ice cream.

 and then skyped with Kathleen and "baby cousins"

Happy Birthday Maddy Moo!  We love you!



I'm in a funk.  A blogging funk.  A teaching funk.  A cleaning funk.  A dieting funk.  I just don't want to do any of it, which is really disconcerting to me, because pre-January, I loved to write, loved my job, was determined and eager to have a clean and organized house, and was relishing (no pun intended) eating healthy and working out.

And now?  I'd really like to veg out on the couch with a box of Mike and Ike's and some nacho chips, watching reality television and surfing the net.  All day.  Every day.  Only taking a break to climb into bed and sleep.

I know a lot of it has to do with being tired and not sleeping.  When I work, I sleep.  When I was on vacation for two weeks?  I went to bed late, woke up several times a night, and awoke most days at 4:30 for good.

I know some of it has to do with my struggle with my weight.  I need to have this permanently tattooed on my psyche:

image courtesy of Pinterest

Oh, how I wish that I was one of those people--like most normal people, I suppose--that say to themselves, "I need to lose a few pounds.  I'll just eat less and exercise more.  And once in a while, if I slip up and want a cookie, I'll eat a cookie."  Oh no.  It's this huge twisted mind game for me. ( I wrote a blog post about it last night, and then decided that it was just all too transparent, even for me, and I deleted it.)

And I know that part of it is not enough time with my husband, not enough time with my kids, not enough time to do anything well.  And who knows....the post Christmas blahs?  The winter blues?

It makes no sense at all to me.  I have more to  be thankful for than just about anyone I know.  I love and am loved.  I have everything I need, and most of what I want.  I have a faithful, honest husband, a nice home, healthy happy children, a good job.  A God who loves me beyond my comprehension.

I'm hoping to snap out of this soon--more time in the Word, a little more self forgiveness, and perhaps, if I'm lucky, a little more sleep!

Sarah's Sweet Seventeen

See this little girl in the tutu?

She turned 17...yes seventeen on Saturday.

It was a laid back day full of family togetherness.  Then, at dinnertime, before Josh headed out for his New Year's Eve festivities, we enjoyed Pizza Hut...her choice.

 Then it was time for "Cake!  Cake!  Cake!"  And yes, they really were jumping for joy over the prospect of cake!

 And wouldn't you be jumping for joy over this chocolatey goodness?

 Sisters, waiting patiently....

 What could be better than being serenaded by your daddy?

 "Helping" Sarah blow out the candles...

 Yummmmm,.....cake!

 The little girls had a hard time NOT being the ones to open the presents, so Sarah graciously let them help....excuse me.  She let them open them, and Charlotte opened them all.

 

Sarah's present from us--a new bed!  Daryl was really on the ball with the bed making this break.  He made this queen size farm bed--so pretty, too--in about three days.  We shopped for her new linens a few days before her birthday.  It wasn't a huge surprise, and there wasn't a whole lot for her to open, but she said it was totally worth it!