As you come to him, the living Stone--rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him--you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 2: 4-5

Monday, January 9, 2012

I'm in a funk.  A blogging funk.  A teaching funk.  A cleaning funk.  A dieting funk.  I just don't want to do any of it, which is really disconcerting to me, because pre-January, I loved to write, loved my job, was determined and eager to have a clean and organized house, and was relishing (no pun intended) eating healthy and working out.

And now?  I'd really like to veg out on the couch with a box of Mike and Ike's and some nacho chips, watching reality television and surfing the net.  All day.  Every day.  Only taking a break to climb into bed and sleep.

I know a lot of it has to do with being tired and not sleeping.  When I work, I sleep.  When I was on vacation for two weeks?  I went to bed late, woke up several times a night, and awoke most days at 4:30 for good.

I know some of it has to do with my struggle with my weight.  I need to have this permanently tattooed on my psyche:
image courtesy of Pinterest

Oh, how I wish that I was one of those people--like most normal people, I suppose--that say to themselves, "I need to lose a few pounds.  I'll just eat less and exercise more.  And once in a while, if I slip up and want a cookie, I'll eat a cookie."  Oh no.  It's this huge twisted mind game for me. ( I wrote a blog post about it last night, and then decided that it was just all too transparent, even for me, and I deleted it.)

And I know that part of it is not enough time with my husband, not enough time with my kids, not enough time to do anything well.  And who knows....the post Christmas blahs?  The winter blues?

It makes no sense at all to me.  I have more to  be thankful for than just about anyone I know.  I love and am loved.  I have everything I need, and most of what I want.  I have a faithful, honest husband, a nice home, healthy happy children, a good job.  A God who loves me beyond my comprehension.

I'm hoping to snap out of this soon--more time in the Word, a little more self forgiveness, and perhaps, if I'm lucky, a little more sleep!


  1. oh, bless your heart ... I've kind of "been there, done that" too ... and sometimes it IS good to just take a little break. Sometimes it is ok to eat whatever you want - try to rest, let the house go ... and then GET TO IT when you've had your fill of laziness and food and family togetherness.
    It's just LIFE ... sometimes we just don't feel like doing "the right thing" and being "responsbile" all. the. time.
    Praying you'll get rested & renewed & ready to go on again soon.

  2. I know just how you feel. Hopefully for us both, it's just the time of year and will pass soon. {hugs}

  3. Yep, totally been there. Go with it - eventually it'll pass.

  4. I think sleep has a LOT to do with it! This sounds just like how I felt when I went back to work after my maternity was AWFUL for about 2 months. Then when my son started sleeping through the night I noticed a big change in me too. Here's hoping you get sleep soon and can let the sun shine in :) (and since you teach little kids I now expect you to sing the words to "oh mr sun, sun, mr. golden sun..." because I am!)