And now? I'd really like to veg out on the couch with a box of Mike and Ike's and some nacho chips, watching reality television and surfing the net. All day. Every day. Only taking a break to climb into bed and sleep.
I know a lot of it has to do with being tired and not sleeping. When I work, I sleep. When I was on vacation for two weeks? I went to bed late, woke up several times a night, and awoke most days at 4:30 for good.
I know some of it has to do with my struggle with my weight. I need to have this permanently tattooed on my psyche:
image courtesy of Pinterest
Oh, how I wish that I was one of those people--like most normal people, I suppose--that say to themselves, "I need to lose a few pounds. I'll just eat less and exercise more. And once in a while, if I slip up and want a cookie, I'll eat a cookie." Oh no. It's this huge twisted mind game for me. ( I wrote a blog post about it last night, and then decided that it was just all too transparent, even for me, and I deleted it.)
And I know that part of it is not enough time with my husband, not enough time with my kids, not enough time to do anything well. And who knows....the post Christmas blahs? The winter blues?
It makes no sense at all to me. I have more to be thankful for than just about anyone I know. I love and am loved. I have everything I need, and most of what I want. I have a faithful, honest husband, a nice home, healthy happy children, a good job. A God who loves me beyond my comprehension.
I'm hoping to snap out of this soon--more time in the Word, a little more self forgiveness, and perhaps, if I'm lucky, a little more sleep!