Top Ten Things I've Heard From My Kids This Week
1. "Mom...Mom....Mom...Your butt is on my foot." About once a week, Hannah climbs in our bed in the middle of the night after a. having a bad dream b. wetting the bed or c. deciding she missed us. Now, she is 5, and fairly small, so you would think she would just wedge herself between us and go right to sleep. And...you would be wrong. She takes up most of my side of the bed, so I surrender my pillow and give her my side of thebed altogether, grab a towel from the eternal unfolded laundry pile at the end of our bed, make a pillow out of it and sleep with my head at the end of the bed, my legs strategically placed between her and Daryl. Guess my strategy was a bit off, huh?
2. "I got sand in my phone and I really really need a new one!" Frantic phone call from Maddy from St. Simon's Island last Sunday morning. And I mean frantic. As in, crying, woe is me, what am I going to do, I can't text my friends frantic. (Why do you need to text your friends when you are at the beach with your friends?) I calmly told her what to do, suggested taking everything out and blowing on it, turning it off and then on again, while she insisted that we had to go and get her a new phone as soon as she got home. How long had it not worked? That's right. A whopping 20 minutes. Twenty minutes without text capability and she was panic stricken. By the way...you can take her off the prayer list. It worked five minutes later.
3. "Mom, does this thermometer work? I just puked my brains out." This from Josh, at what seemed to be the middle of the night (but which was probably about 11:30). You would think the child would learn from the last time he was puking his brains out--when he was in 5th grade and he came to tell me that he was sick. About seven times. And each of these seven times, I told him to go back to bed and he'd be fine. I found him the next morning laying next to the toilet, asleep. Not one of my finer mommy moments, for sure. This time, I did manage to at least think about getting up and checking on him at 2:30. I didn't get up, but I thought about it. (And he was fine, by the way...I did get up at 6:00 and wake him from a sound slumber to ask if he was OK) Life lesson? Momma is no good when she's asleep!
4. "I have to have these clothes. You know nothing about love!" And then picture Hannah stomping from the room with a Publix reusable shopping bag full of various, random pieces of clothing to take to Grandma's. In five days.
5. "owineoincjksdnavj guppies! a;lskdjojivbion e bubob!" Charlotte, in a conversation with me, holding the remote control in her hand. For the record, guppies=Bubble Guppies and bubob=Spongebob. She can't say much, but the girl knows her TV shows. Ahhh, yes, she is a Stone.
6. "Fefies!" Again, Charlotte, as we pull into the parking lot of Wendy's. I am choosing to believe that she is brilliant and not just so familiar with fast food restaurants that she can recognize the signs already.
7. "But I just can't help it! They're so good! Sorta warm and salty!" I won't gross you out with the particulars of this one, but let's just say that my daughter has a serious nose picking problem.
8. "Somone was talking about something that happened in 2000, and I mean, that was over ten years ago. I feel so old." Sarah, age 16. In 2000, she was what? 6? Just you wait until you are telling your children about your childhood and you find that most of your childhood memories involve items that are obsolete. Record player anyone? Typewriter? Atari? A TV you had to get up and change the channel?
9. "So do you worship doves?" I'm tutoring at our church and one of my former first graders asked me this question after noticing pictures of doves on some banners in the hallway. I really made an impression on him during Bible time, huh?
10. "It's hard to keep a secret, so I won't tell you. But do I have to clean with Sarah tomorrow?" Think they're planning something for our anniversary tomorrow?