As you come to him, the living Stone--rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him--you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 2: 4-5

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15 NIV

I have heard this verse over and over. In Bible study, in Sunday school, in the message from the pastor, in Christian self help books. I understand it. It's not hard to do so. However, I always thought of it as sinning, despite the fact that your greatest desire was to please God, just because of your sin nature. Everyone knows that God hates sin. Everyone wants to please God. No one desires to displease God with sin, but we do. Every day.

Today that verse hit home just a little bit more. Because, yes, today was one of those days. I woke up with resolve. Today I would have more patience with the children in my class. Today I would be productive and not waste my time. Today I would make good food choices. Today I would be a shining light in word and deed.

The best laid plans of mice and men...

It started with coming back to my classroom after prayer meeting (after prayer meeting, people--how pathetic is that?) and instead of greeting my waiting kiddos with smiles and sweetness, I fussed at them for acting up in the hallway. In front of a parent. Who already isn't my biggest fan. I felt bad about that all day, replaying it in my mind over and over; berating myself for it, wishing I would have started our day differently. The rest of the day pretty much followed suit--lots of time wasted because I just had no motivation. And the food choices? Ugh. Enough said.

I have discovered this--that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. That will always be within me. The answer? Jesus. My saving grace. This is where it needs to start. Every morning, before I start my day. And can I tell you that the idea of getting up before 5:45 does not appeal to me in the least.

Now...onto something (or should I say some people) that really DO appeal to some pictures that make me smile...
Josh, on his 18th birthday, in his special birthday hat (yes, he did wear it at school, and yes, I do realize that I have yet to post the pictures of his birthday!)

Pretty pretty Sarah, in her model pose

My sweet and sassy Maddy, posing for the camera

Hannah, who decided she wasn't getting enough attention at Josh's birthday celebration so planted herself between the camera and Josh

And my sweet little Char Char, in what I know will be the first of many dress up clothes...posing as Cat in the Hat in a bumbo seat!

And last, but certainly not least...something that made me extremely happy today, jubilant even.
I wore sandals today to school!!!!
And even though it's going to be cold and rainy tomorrow, I'm gonna wear them again tomorrow. There's no going back is spring!

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