And today, I had to make someone unhappy. Had to confront someone. Had to say and do something that would make someone upset with me. The part of my job I hate.
Give me the little children any day. They love you. You say something they don't like, they let you know, you talk about it (or tell them to get over it-ha!), and it's over and they're hugging you and writing you love notes within fifteen minutes. A hug cures anything. And if it doesn't, a blow-pop does.
Give me their parents, and it's a different story. They entrust their most precious possession to me. They send a little bit of their heart into my classroom each and every day and trust that I will keep it safe. And when they feel that safety is being threatened, whether real or imagined, the claws come out.
So today, I had a retention meeting. And I knew in advance that my words would hurt. I had put it off as long as I could. But it was time.
I didn't sleep last night, my brain working and my heart hurting. I imagined the worst. I hoped for better. I prayed. I thought. I cried. I panicked. With two hours of troubled sleep behind me, I faced the day.
I walked into my pre-meeting conference with the principal, the curriculum director, the special needs teacher, the remediation teacher. And I expressed my concerns. We made a plan. We prayed. I cried.
And then from my right, a note slipped into my lap. A simple message. A simple truth. Comfort.
God is bigger than all of this. It will be OK.
And it was. I came. I confronted and held my ground. I said all that needed to be said. And I prayed with the parents. And in the end? It was OK. Better than OK. There were hugs and smiles and though it wasn't the same as before, it was alright. Because God is able to do what we ourselves are not. He is bigger than my fears. Bigger than my insecurities. Bigger than my insomnia and panic attacks. And even if I can't be the peacemaker all the time, or the bearer of good news, or even if I have to break some parent's heart, it will indeed be OK.
Chris Tomlin puts it best.....
.Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Now why can't I seem to remember this?