This afternoon, when we were coming home from Father's Day lunch at Nanny and Paw Paw's, I mentioned to Hannah that when we got home it would be nap time. The following conversation took place:
Me: Hannah, when we get home, it's going to be night night time.
Hannah: I can play first? Just one minute?
Me: No, Hannah. It will be time for your nap.
Hannah: I don't want to be obedient.
Daryl: But you will be, because Mommy said it was time for a nap, so you will take a nap.
Hannah: But I don't want to obey mommy and daddy today. I don't want to be obedient. I want to play.
When we got home, she proceeded to go into the living room and get out her Moo-no game. When Daryl called her to come take a nap, she lay down on the floor. He gave her the option of going to go with me to take a nap or time out. Hannah continued to lay on the floor until Daryl picked her up and put her in time out. After about 5 minutes, she came downstairs, put her pull up on, and got on the bed.
Me: Are you ready for your nap now?
Hannah: Yes. Daddy put me in time out for a long long long long long time, and now I am ready to be obedient.
How often am I like this with God? How often does God have to put me in "time out" until I submit and am obedient? And you would think that after being put in time out, I would learn, yet time and time again, I would rather do what I want to do. And time and time again, I watch as God gracefully and mercifully fulfills His plan for me, gives me the desires of my heart,...once I am obedient.
Step away from my faith? God simply took everything away from me, until I had no choice but in obedience rely solely on Him, His word, prayer, and fellowship, and no choice but to turn to Him as my savior. Only after I had taken this step, came back to him, started raising my children in the Lord did he give me what I desired most--stability, love, a partner, a father for my children.
Plan for the expansion of my family...in MY time? God made me wait. And after two years of pain and disappointment, I made God my focus, followed Him in obedience into deeper study, deeper involvement in ministry, into Romania on a mission trip. The very next month, we were blessed with finding out we were expecting Hannah, and we have another unexpected blessing on the way.
And well...Hannah never did take a nap this afternoon (potty training seems to get in the wayof this--how do you tell your three year old that she can't get out of bed when she tells you that she needs to poop?) So I guess in reality, she wasn't completely obedient. But she tried, and we were merciful. And aren't I so glad that my heavenly Father has extended that same mercy and grace over and over again?