The best laid plans....

So it was my plan to get up today and become supermom. I would clean, I would bake, I would find fun and meaningful activities with Hannah. Instead, I started my day laying on the couch wondering if this was pregnancy related, or was I really just going to die. While I was contemplating this, Hannah got her tricycle all the way up the stairs from the living room to the breakfast room and I hear, "Look! I pedaling! I pedal my bi-tik- el!" So I pulled myself off the couch to snap a picture.

Feeling a bit better mid morning, I tackled cookie baking--where I ate NO dough...just in case you have any doubt about how bad I felt...that is it. Here is Hannah who wanted me to "take picture of my cookie face!"
After a quick trip to Nanny's to borrow the vacuum cleaner (after I broke the belt and inadvertently sucked up a sock) and to Sam's for Super Bowl Party fixins, I had one last energy spurt where I mopped the floors...with Hannah's help. She loves to clean and so for her birthday, we had gotten her a little broom, mop, vacuum set. She spent about 2 minutes "cleaning" and about 20 minutes pretending she was falling down in the water (the wet floor) and "swimming." Cute stuff.

My question of the day is this....how come when I look at other people's blogs, their floors always look clean, their mirrors look clean, their houses are clean????? And mine...just a reaffirmation of my housekeeping skills and my lack of energy/motivation! And is it really possible to have a clean house with 4 kids, 4 dogs, a cat, and a husband who didn't have to be clean for anyone (and he will still tell you he doesn't have to for me either!) until he was 37? I mean, the Duggars do it. Kate, from Jon and Kate Plus 8, do it. I just must be missing something!

Drats...foiled again....

My plans to stay in my PJ's have been flushed down the toilet by a broken vacuum cleaner belt! Argh!

And 14 hours later.....

I am finally able to sit down! I was up and running at 5:45 this morning and really, except for lunch and in the car, I haven't had a moment to sit down until right this minute. School was hectic, and after school was filled with picking up and dropping off and errands and grocery shopping and cleaning and laundry. I'm exhausted!

So tomorrow, it is my goal to stay in my PJ's all day, and use this

to erase all traces of this (and yes, he has become as evil as he looks in this picture)

and this
so we can get ready for our Super Bowl party for the teens at church. Why I am cleaning for a group of kids who won't care and will only mess it up more, I don't know, but I am anyways!


And of course, I hope to have lots and lots of this as well!

Daryl and Josh are working all day tomorrow, so I will have her all to myself!

Taking after his Grandpa

Josh had his cross country banquet tonight. This was his first year running on the team, and really his first year running period, and he earned the very last spot on the varsity team. Here is a picture of him with his certificate and the pin for his letterman jacket, if he decides to get one. He at first decided that he didn't want one...but I think that now that he has that cool little pin (and a girlfriend that may want to wear it now and again) he might just want one. Look at what a man he is! (and please ignore the dirty window behind him...I promise I'm going to get off my duff and clean sometime soon!)

At the banquet, I realized how we just don't fit into any group of parents. All of the parents there had high school kids, with their youngest being middle or upper elementary. Hannah was the only toddler there, which made it all the more embarrassing when we got back to our table and she declared it "scary" because other people had sat down with us and proceeded to have a tantrum. And even more noticeable when she started running around and "bopping" us with her wand that she insisted she bring. Can I just say that the other parents looked a lot more relaxed?

New Holiday Declared

I have officially declared it the "Official Mom Gets to Take a Bath All By Herself Day." Seriously. All I have wanted the last two nights was 30 minutes of solace with a hot tub full of bubbles and a good book. The first night, I whispered to my darling husband, "I'm going downstairs to take a bath." Notice I whispered this because I wanted to ALONE. The tub is half full and I have just relaxed when the door flies open and there stands Hannah, babies in hand. She queals, "Bath!" (It should be noted here that earlier in the night, she screamed at the bath prospect) and then proceeds to undress herself and climb in with me (where she probably peed). After our bath and our shower afterwards(note the last parentheses), I take her back upstairs where three teenagers and one adult sit watching TV and playing on the computer...oblivious to the fact that Hannah had been gone.

Fast forward to last night. Once again, I tell everyone...LOUDLY this time, so that all will know that I do not want to be disturbed...that I am going to take a bath. I start running the water, getting undressed, when the door flies open. And this time...there stands Maddy...shampoo and towel in hand. "I'm just going to stand here and wait for you to be done so I can take a shower. Please don't use all the hot water."

Needless to say, I had a hasty shower and went to bed just a little bit grouchy. So tonight...it is MY turn. And I dare anyone to disturb me, join me, or stop me from doing so....or face the wrath of the woman with the crazy pregnancy hormones!

oh,...and by the way....the camera's batteries died AGAIN...and so no picture again!

Obligatory (so I don't break my resolution) post...

No new pictures, no news. I've spent very little time today feeling human, and am shortly going to bed. It's as if the peanut is telling me, "See, momma...I'm just fine!"

Dancing for Joy!!!

This is Hannah dancing for joy this evening at the news that we have a perfectly healthy little bean with a sweet little heartbeat!!!! OK...so maybe that is a stretch. She is really dancing because we were stuck in her room while Daryl had a dissertation conference with his professor and we were not allowed to make noise, but she really is still dancing! If I could only figure out how to post a video...it was too cute!

Anyways...all went well at the doctor. They found the heartbeat right away on this little blob that they said was our baby. We got to hear it, which was good, since I couldn't see the little flicker that she was talking about. I do have a subchorionic hemmorage (sp?--that doesn't look right) that they will keep an eye on, but they feel it's so small that it will resolve itself. We'll go back in two weeks for our regular appointment, and maybe they will sneak a peak then as well! We compared it to Hannah about this time, and Hannah's picture was so much more defined, but we looked at the dates, and it was about a week further along. I have a new due date of September 16, which means for me, around Labor Day. This makes me happy that I will have more time before the baby comes to get my classroom and my class in shape! God is so good, but after wrestling with doubt and worry and fear for most of the night last night, I had promised myself that whatever the outcome today, that God would receive the glory and my praise.

I am exhausted right now. It's as if after the appointment every bit of energy drained out of me with the nervous energy and anxiety that had been fueling me all day. I only hope that Hannah will cooperate and go to bed early too!

Thank you for praying!

Weeping Willow

Yes...that is my favorite kind of tree. As a child, I always wanted one in our yard. I think I must have read a book with a willow tree in it, since I had visions of laying under a tree lost in a book. Since then, I've always loved them. I still hope that someday I will have a willow tree in my front yeard. But anyways...I digress. For the title does not refer to a tree, but to ME today. I cried five times during church....once during choir practice, once when Josh gave his testimony about his camp experience (that boy makes me so proud!), then again when the choir sang the song that made me cry earlier. And I am not a pretty crier, and there I was on the front row. Then, during the message, I cried when the pastor talked about a baby born with Down's, and then again...with tears of joy...when one of our AWANA girls came forward to accept Christ. I don't know whether it's because the hormones are kicking in, or because I got little sleep last night or if it's nerves about tomorrow.

Tomorrow is our first ultrasound. And while I know that it is routine, and I have no cause to worry that everything won't be alright, I still fear that we will go in and there will be no heartbeat. I don't know why...but I am. And it has just hit home how very much I really want this baby. After all the doubts, all of the disbelief, all of the wondering...I really want this so much. Please pray with me that I can hand this over to God and rest in His peace.

As for the pictures of the day...Maddy is my subject. Two self portraits and a picture of her doing her toe touch!

My heart...

This afternoon, I went to take a nap, and Josh actually came downstairs to see me and tell me good-bye before he left. He looked so handsome and grown-up as he left, going out to surprise his girlfriend with a showing of Twilight at the Fox for their 3 month anniversary. After he left I cried. Not because he had upset me, or because I was worried about him, but just in awe of what God has done in his life, and what an amazing young man he has become.

I started thinking about how he was the first to permanently take captive a bit of my heart. Remembering our many days and nights when it was just the two of us...when I was a mom who could actually give undivided attention. Remembering after Sarah came how I ached to just be able to have him all to myself just for a moment. How I was terrified that his biological father would take him. And the nights that I kept it together only because he was right there by my side, keenly observing my every action, reaction, emotion. The time I have spent on my knees asking God to please see him through and bless him. And He has.

He constantly amazes me with his actions, his words, his passions. He is the Christian that I only hope to be someday and wants to spend his life as a missionary. He is honest, smart, considerate, and compassionate. He treats his girlfriend with such tenderness, respect, and love that makes me so proud of him. He is so mature and wise beyond his years, yet will still curl up by me on the couch so I can "rub his head." He is loving and protective of me, and in the few instances where his mouth acts before his brain, he is quick to apologize.

There is no reason, given the things that he has gone through in his short life, that he should be so grounded, so well adjusted, so loving. He did not have a good role model, and while I tried, I know I was not strong enough to have given him what only a father can. While I credit Daryl for shaping him since he was ten, I can only credit his Heavenly Father for giving him the wisdom, grace, comfort and strength through the years.

I know his youth is not over, and there are likely to be bumps in the road ahead, but for now, I remain forever thankful that I get to call him mine for at least a few more years.

A momma in the making....

When I found out we were having another girl, I was excited, because I knew what I was in for. I already had two and they were fun--all girl, loving to dress up, wear "make-up," dancing, singing princesses. But Hannah has been so different. While she loves to wear dresses (or maybe she is just used to it!), her greatest love isn't dress up, but babies. She has several baby dolls, and she carries one with her at all times. One goes in the bathtub with her, in her bed, tucked under her arm, and strapped into the seatbelt in the seat next to her in the car. If I'm lucky, I get to awake to her talking and reading to her baby in her bed over the baby monitor. This afternoon, I heard her talking in her room and came in to find her sitting next to her kitchen, where she had set her "pallet" for her baby. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "I snuggling with my baby in my kitchen!"

Then she asked me to take her picture--OK, so she has just a little of Sarah and Maddy in her!
And then the "three" of us played some hide and seek!

I am thinking that she is going to make a great big sister, and hoping that this love of all things baby will make the transition a little easier!

More than you ever wanted to know about me....

Someone tagged me on Facebook and I couldn't figure out how to post it there, so I thought it might be fun to post it here!

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Why do I look pregnant already?

2. How much cash do you have on you? a dollar and whatever change is at the bottom of my purse

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? four

4. Favorite planet? earth

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? a parent of one of my students calling me to tell me she would be late...again

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? I only have one...and as long as it's long and loud enough to allow me to find my phone at the bottom of my purse, I'm good.

7. What shirt are you wearing? long sleeve target tee with a make up stain on the sleeve

8. Do you label yourself? yeah...mother, teacher, wife,

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? no clue...and too lazy to take them off to check...Walmart, tho. Impressive, huh?

10. Bright or dark room? Ask me when I'm not so sleepy

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? an amazing sense of humor

12. What does your watch look like? I don't own a watch anymore

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? I'm going to need that money I told you about

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? no clue

16. What’s a word that you say a lot? boys and girls...

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Sarah

18. Last furry thing you touched? the stupid cat

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Paxil, pre-natal vitamins

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? who needs film anymore?

21. Favorite age you have been so far? all of the years have been good, though 33-35 were pretty rough.

22. Your worst enemy? myself

23. What is your current desktop picture? some puppy that my girls put on there for me

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? Maddy...the shoes you wore until you got those funky tennis shoes...

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? no choice there....a million dollars

26. Do you like someone? um, yes...

27. The last song you listened to? The theme song to Teenage Drama Queen

28. What time of day were you born?I dunno — I’ll have to ask Mom.

29. What’s your favorite number? 29

30. Where did you live in 1987? Clemson South Carolina

31. Are you jealous of anyone? anyone who even appears to have their life together...or a clean house...or thin thighs.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? Highly doubtful

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? Minor Elementary School, in my reading recovery classroom

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? sigh and go dig out another dollar

35. Do you consider yourself kind?yep

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? could not ever get one or I would be divorced

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Italian

38. Would you move for the person you loved?In a heartbeat, though then I'd faint from shock

39. Are you touchy feely?with my kids and my husband

40. What’s your life motto? one day at a time, no guilt, move on....though I don't live by it very often

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times. nothing...I can never find anything important at all times

42. What’s your favorite town/city? Washington DC

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? A diet coke

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? a week after christmas when I mailed my thank you notes

45. Can you change the oil on a car? nope

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? He broke his neck falling out of a hunting stand

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? my mom and dad...though I could find out more if I wanted to

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? church--a skirt and sweater and heels way too high

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? my breasts...pergnancy related

50. Have you been burned by love? don't even get me started!
Happy Saturday to all!

Finding Balance....the $25,000 question.....

On ordinary days, in ordinary times, I have difficulty balancing work, home, children, time with my husband, and church--not to even mention time for myself (what's that?) In these extraordinary times--extraordinary in that this is so far from what I thought ordinary would ever be!--I am having even more difficulty. I find my school work piled high on my desk, and then in a bag to come home....where it sits until I take it out the next morning at school, untouched. I find my housework more often undone than done. I find myself in bed, missing my kids, as I was too tired, too busy to take the time to be with them. And when I do spend time with them, I find myself feeling guilty about all I should be doing.

So the question of the day is this....

How do you balance this....

with this.....

and this...

when you feel like this?????

What in the world am I going to do when I add a baby into the mix?

Life as we know it....

After dinner and after getting the batteries for the camera, I decided to catch the kids helping out around the house, doing their jobs. Maddy, had the biggest job, by far....

Notice the Mrs. Santa plate in the right hand corner. OOPS! Forgot that decoration, obviously! Then down to check on Josh doing laundry and Sarah giving Hannah a bath. Hannah was none too happy to be having a bath tonight...I think she was tired...and instead wanted some mommy love. So instead, we dipped her quickly, wrapped her up and got her jammies on. And since I promised a picture of me every once in a while...here I am in all my glory. And in my favorite outfit of late...a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. Such a nice change from the panty hose and high heels from work today!

And then because Sarah told me she hadn't been on the blog in a whole week, here is a picture of her being goofy!
Now you may be wondering....where is that son of yours doing laundry. It is his week right? Hmmmmm....my question exactly. Seems as if he "didn't know that you had to fold it and put it away too!" He had put his obligatory load in the washer and was satsified his job was done. Such a man already!

Good news today...God is so good. One of the biggest worries about this baby coming was childcare for Hannah...how were we ever going to afford two at Kay Kay's?? And if we had to remove Hannah, how would my heart handle it? Today Kay offered to charge us $85 per week for Hannah once the baby comes...exactly how much the school is charging for full day pre-K3! Just one more piece of the puzzle falling into place...and a HUGE prayer answered!

January 21....a little late!

So I didn't blog yesterday. My camera's battery died, and I didn't have a picture, and quite honestly, by the time I got home from school/church, I was just beat. Nothing exciting anyways...I took this picture because this is how I spent my awake time with my children!

Fool me once...shame on you...Fool me twice...

Shame on me! Yes, despite our little make-up incident a couple of weeks ago, she somehow did it once again. Here is the top of my chair....

and the side of her head after we had to hold her screaming over the sink to wash out the globs of make-up!

And a random picture of Maddy....because she was here!

Fun with Hannah!

I know it seems I mostly post about Hannah, but the truth of the matter is that she is more often than not the only one home most of the time. Thus was the case today, as Josh was shopping (yes, shopping!) with Maranda, Sarah was at the movies with Rachel, and Maddy was at Sydney's house. I woke up to the sweetest sound imaginable, my sweet baby girl singing her ABC's over the baby monitor. We had a busy morning full of cleaning, laundry, and cake making!

When Maddy did make it home, she and Hannah had some fun outside with the tricycle!

I spent the majority of the afternoon napping and this evening, finishing up the laundry and the socks....oh and did I mention being a total and complete crab and alienating my entire family? gotta love the pregnancy hormones!

The Laundry Quandry and other ramblings....

Laundry is the bane of my existence. It is always there, taunting me, an ever-present symbol of my failings of housewifery (is that even a word?) Even with only three children I remember it getting way way way out of hand. Even with one, I do remember that I still didn't have a system for mastering it. I came across a picture recently of me making my bed and Josh sitting at my feet--a crawler still--playing in a pile of laundry on the floor.

I've had suggestions from others as to how to solve this problem. "Let the older kids do their own laundry. They are old enough to help!" "Put a load in before you go to work and fold it when you get home. After dinner, put everyone's dirty clothes in the washer and then fold it while you watch TV." OK...I can do both of these. And I did. And I failed miserably. I have even given a different child laundry duty for the week to try to stay a bit on top of things--all they have to do is one load a day. I have brought the laundry into the living room and had everyone help me fold. And again...these all failed miserably in achieving my goal--getting rid, once and for all, of "the piles."

A better mother would have taught her children to have the discipline and foresight to plan to do their own laundry in a timely manner, regardless of Spivey, homework, dates, matches ,practices, a really good Office episode, or the two hour Survivor finale. A less lazy housewife would get up ten minutes earlier to do said load of laundry. But alas, I am neither. The last thing I want to do at 5:30 in the morning is laundry. And while watching TV? It may all get folded, but then a cat will sit on a pile, a dog will grab a sock, a child will go to bed without taking their pile up (and it will sit there for DAYS until finally they put entire said pile back in the laundry because it is easier to do so than put it away...and the cat has probably peed on it."

So...in one of my early morning computer times (Yes, I can surf the net at 3:30 when I can't sleep but I don't do laundry--see reason above) I was perusing large family websites and found that many of the mega families (which I realize we are not!) have family laundry closets. Their washer and dryers are in this large closet along with storage places for all of the clothes. Mom washes and dries and puts everything into the storage place for the correct child and then it is their responsibility to come and get it and put it away. And if they don't put it away? Then they can just come and get what they need, but their section has to stay neat.

Our problem? We don't have an extra inch to breathe in this house and asking Daryl to build me a laundry closet is not an option--not only did we need a solution now (and not in a year) but he has too many other things on his proverbial plate and by golly, I CAN CONQUER THIS! So here you have our version of the family laundry closet--the Stone Family laundry wall. I fold laundry on my bed anyways, so this way it's all right there and I don't have the piles to move around the room.


Each big kid has a shelf and a color-coded basket for socks and underwear. Hannah has the tall storage unit (since thank you, Ms. Kay, she goes through three outfits per day!) and I guess we will get another once little bit arrives.

Speaking of which, Nanny came across a great sale a Kohl's and picked up a few things for the baby-to-be:
Notice a theme here????? As in blue?????? Aside from being healthy, we would also love another boy, but I'm not holding my breath! Regardless of if it is a boy or not...one of the little ones has got to play t-ball..and the puppy outfit with the baseball on the butt? Little princess #4 will wear it...somewhere!

Saturday morning crescent rolls...

It was a cold lazy Saturday morning, and I was up way too early (thanks, Maddy). When Hannah woke up (3 hours after me. Again, thanks Maddy), she was "hungy." So we made her very favorite--crescent rolls!

Maddy awoke duing this...well rested, may I say...and not the least bit sick anymore. (Did I mention to thank Maddy?)

Hannah helped fold them up "all by myself!"

They must have been good, because she ate 4 of them! Apparently, this is a favorite at Ms. Kay's house. It's amazing how fast 16 crescent rolls can disappear in this house.

The rest of our day was spent fighting off violent waves of nausea as I took the girls to Tanger outlet mall to spend their birthday money, and at the grocery store, and then setting up my new laundry system. In my early hours awake (need I say it?) I started thinking..."Oh my gosh! How am I going to handle 7 people's laundry when I can't even handle 6? When I couldn't even handle 4?" So after much perusing large family blogs and websites, I came up with a system that I think might just work for us...although laundry pile diving seems to be a popular sport in our house! I'll post pictures and explanations tomorrow. I've got to go to bed. This baby...may I say...is kicking my behind.

Ahhh...the life of a middle school girl. Little would you know that only an hour prior to this picture, she was sobbing uncontrollably because her two best friends went home together and she wasn't invited. Here she is, an hour later, on her way to the best friend's house for a party...like nothing had ever happened. Happy and chipper, clad in her brand new size double zero (of which she is extremely proud), taking pictures of trees, sunsets, and passing cars. How I much prefer the problems of a two year old who doesn't want to go to bed than a broken heart!

As for the rest of us...Daryl and I are working on dissertation (him writing, me editing), Sarah is cleaning her room so we can go shopping tomorrow, Josh is out with Maranda, and Hannah....well, she is doing what she does best--being incredibly cute and sneaking into the pantry for "snacks."

We got the prices for full day 3K at ELCA, and it does turn out that it would be cheaper to take her with me to school next year. Now the decision making begins...do you put a price on tender loving care? Is my baby ready to eat in a cafeteria and wear a uniform every day? Is she ready to be in a classroom setting every single day? And what if they don't love her like Ms. Kay? And do we want to upset the woman that we want to take care of or newborn? ahhh...decisions, decisions.

Happy Birthday Maddy!!!!

Here is the birthday girl at 6:15 am when I awoke her for school with a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday!"

Blowing out her candle on her birthday waffle! (which as we speak, she is telling Aunt Kathleen that it was cold!)
Maddy posing with her favorite gift, her Vera Bradley messenger bag in Puccini, and her guitar on the way to school.

Posing with the rest of her loot after school.

Hannah and Josh getting ready to watch Maddy open presents.

Maddy modeling her new pj's from Sarah and enjoying the top to her cake box.

And Hannah crying because she was not allowed to stick her fingers in the cake.

"We are best friends again!" (Hannah's real words!)

Blowing out the candles on her most delicious cake!

I wish I could say that everyone's day was as merry as Maddy's, but Josh was in his first fender bender this afternoon. No one was hurt and the damage to both cars is minimal, but I still feel for him. It's a hard pill to swallow. He is already his own worst critic...but I remain his biggest fan.

Her last day as an 11 year old...

It's hard to believe that my once upon a time baby is turning 12 tomorrow. It just seems like yesterday that she was Hannah's age--wearing her pink bathing suit with the silver tutu everywhere she went, and refusing to stay in her bed. These days she has a penchant for converse tennis shoes and skinny jeans...and she still finds her way to our bedroom in the middle of the night at least once a month.

I wish I had more energy to post more tonight, but it's been a long long day and we are just getting home for the first time since 6:40 this morning. Tomorrow will be better...because like it or not, I am following her around with a camera tomorrow!

She was so proud....

After she put the salads on the table, she put on her "jackik" and she did it "all by myself!" and she's right...she did get it on...but upside down.

Then, when I was lounging on the couch suffering in misery from morning sickness, I hear, "Look Mommy, I make messy with your make up!"
One very long and very distressing bath later, she is clean but with a sheer film of "natural beige" still over her face. How come I can sweat this stuff off doing laundry but it stays on her despite many washings with special Dora soap?!

"I wanna pop-tik-el Ple-e-e-e-ease!" And yes, she really does fold her hands like that when she asks!

Thank you Mommy!
"Mmmm--Mmmm--good!"

and further proof that Josh exists--doing a stellar, as usual, job on his dish duty this week!

I had my doctor's appointment this morning, and so far so good. Not a whole lot they can tell you at 5 weeks, I guess. I'll get a few more ultrasounds due to my "advanced maternal age," and that in and of itself is a blessing. Our first is two weeks from today, on January 26. We hope to see a strong healthy heartbeat by then!